omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize