Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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