Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
