my vag is so smooth its legendary
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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