Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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