i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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