there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
