Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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