I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
