I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
