by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
