My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
