you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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