just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
