You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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