are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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