.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
