try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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