no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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