So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
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You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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