remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
