I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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