my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize