You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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