Girls should come with a carfax report
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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