Your face is a jimmy john
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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