Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
