BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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