Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i dont even know how to be here
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
