I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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