I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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