Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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