he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
