u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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