he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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