just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
