im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize