For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
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Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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