my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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