i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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