to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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