Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
