I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
