Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
