Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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