If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
