so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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