Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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