whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize