dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
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He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just want to make out with him forever
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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