Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
