if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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