You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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