Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
