i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
