Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
