# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
