i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
